Fr. John Monbourquetter in his bestselling book published by ST PAULS, How To Forgive, wrote: “If you want to be happy for a moment, then seek revenge. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, then grant forgiveness.” He followed it up by explaining the four possibilities and consequences if we do not forgive.
- First, we perpetuate the grief suffered within ourselves and in others.
When we feel assaulted or violated, we tend to mimic our offender. Any predisposition to hostility and to domination of other risks being transmitted from generation to generation through families and cultures. Only forgiveness can break the chain reaction.
- Second, we live with constant resentment.
Resentment is a form of disguised anger that festers around a badly healed wound. Its negative effects includes paranoia and it is the origin of psychosomatic illnesses like cancer, arthritis, arteriosclerosis, multiple sclerosis, cardiovascular diseases and diabetes.
- Third, we remain fixated in the past.
People who will not and cannot forgive have trouble living in the now. Unforgiveness paralyzes life; memories of the past only increase old pain; the future is blocked and there are no new projects or new relationships.
- Fourth, we seek revenge.
The instinct for revenge blinds anyone who gives in to it. It only leads to an endless cycle of violence similar to Mafia vendettas and rido or clan among Muslims.
In our Gospel [Mt 21-35, 24 September 2011, cf The Jerusalem Bible or the NRSV Catholic Edition Bible], Jesus confronts Peter with the truth that the spirit of forgiveness really knows no boundaries. Jesus then proceeds to tell the parable of the Unforgiving Servant wherein a king shows mercy to his servant by cancelling entirely his huge debt [10,000 talents] even if the original request was only an extension of patience and time to pay the debt.
How large an amount was 10,000 talents? The exchange rate then was 1 talent = 6,000 denarii. Taking note that a denarius was a day’s normal wage, the poor fellow owed something like 60,000,000 denarii!
In today’s standards, using the rate of PhP 426 [plus COLA] as the minimum take home pay per day, the total debt would be more than a staggering PhP 25.5 billion. Indeed , the 100 denarii [Php 42,000] that another servant owed to the unmerciful servant was a mere pittance. The final result: the king imposes the former sentence to the cruel servant and even adding to it. Before, he, his family, and his possessions were only going to be sold; but now, he is to be handed over the “torturers.” Failure to forgive a brother will bring severe punishment!
We are all God’s debtors [cf Romans 3:23]. There parable teaches us that the kingdom of heaven is to consist of people who are both forgiven and forgiving, who have both mercy and are merciful. ”For the judgement is merciless to one who has not shown mercy; mercy triumphs over judgement” [cf James 2:13].
- Fr. Cris Robert Cellan, SSP
carpe diem... ü
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