lately i feel so inspired, moved, motivated, wronged and stupid. inspired because i have a team leader who believes in me and a group of people who thinks im talented and tells me im a good person and that i can be somebody. i feel moved because i am starting to realize that there are good things i can to and that there are people who counts on me. i am also motivated and this is the first time that i took my capabilities seriously, it occured to me that yes i am talented, i can be helpful and i have some fire on my sleeve and that i can go center stage rather than being the old me being in the backstage. i also feel wronged because after all of the good things i felt i forgot that there is always something opposite to it... the balance. not everybody will say good stuff about you and its natural, its a fact that a person has flaws, i admit i have faults to owe up to. that makes me feel stupid to even forget that.
the recent events are just so mixed up, i have something good going at work its fun, i have alot of friends who i think are very much up my league. plenty of my colleagues are of the same wavelength and doesnt think my language is foul, offensive or very undertonish. bottomline it a great work place! at the same time i am so bothered with this group that im with because i feel that i am being flagged for everything, the way i write, speak, think i guess... err not that everybody is like burning or giving me a hard time... is it just me, i was just told earlier that the world dont revolve on me, is that the reason im ranting?
lols, just got home from watching a football game with dikkie, fifa world cup i loved it. i didnt get to watch the first game, but i pretty much enjoyed Sweden vs. Trinidad and Tobago. I applaud T&T for proving themselves worthy of the competition, being on the Fifa for the first time they proved veteran teams like Sweden that they really prove something. the defense was really good, it was an intense game very physical, and a little frustrating that nobody goaled. yeah sucks right, it was great game. Sweden should really feel bad its like they have not learned from experience or maybe T&T was just as good. hmm...
have i been complacent? yes i have... complacent at work? yes... uhh well i just lost it thats why i was being motivated again. i have to pull my thing together. complacent with family... definetely, i just was so tactless that even my blog gave me away and things fell apart, needs fixing just alot of things that just make you wanna scream. complacent with friends... i felt like i have forgotten how some of my friends sees the good in people and i kick their sandcastle, i know thats awful and im sorry for that. with jayronline... yeah i think, i totally forgot that things are not always the same and i falied to test the current. am i just indifferent? thats what my brother says i am thats why i get in alot of trouble... though friends say im warm.. duh? what am i really?
i always heard, was told that things will be fine with whatever of endeavor you take as long as you be yourself and have confidence with yourself what you got. but sometimes its not the case. you be yourself and suddenly its a big mistake. maybe because you're misunderstood and maybe because you suck. sometimes being different is wrong, sometimes its cool. sometimes not being against the tide is wrong. you'll have to consider alot of things in life and most of the time you just do it without even considering why you eveh have to consider. there's alot of things i wanna say but i think i have to control myself. i spill the beans to much but at the same time i dont do it. haaah...
carpe diem!!!
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